Simple things.

I listen to the same screeching laugh that comes right from the heart, that tears directly into mine and makes my heart want to explode out of my chest.

Every single day.. I listen and smile at his happiness due to my silly faces, or yelling at him to hold my hand (he gets a huge kick out of holding mommy's hands, and he likes when I'm dramatic).

He has turned me into a mother - complete with messy hair and still wearing pajamas.

These simple things I will never let go of, because he's changed me so completely.

I'm nothing else but a mommy..

And happy to be.

Question!

I have had a lot of great feedback on my parenting skills throughout my series of social networks, friends and families. A lot of people on my former blog (Sup, Livejournal-type-people?!), a handful of emails and just a slew of happens-every-day questions have been brought to the table, and I figured I would blog my answers to a few of these questions.

Q: Kaiden is a very unique name - had you thought of any other names before you decided on it?

A: I absolutely fell in love with the name Kaiden from the get-go. I actually heard it on a video game (Mass Effect, y'all!) and never really thought of any other male names, to be honest. Although when I did think I was having a girl I had thrown together "Alexis" "Callie" "Kaylie" and "Makayla". The final one was still in the process, and I guess we never really found out how that one would have turned out!

Q: Thoughts on circumcision?

A: To each their own! This was a large question in parenting classes, and not really a huge topic of conversation in my household. I'm a firm believer in not altering what god gave you - in the sense of adding or taking away things, not like..hair dye - so I knew from the moment I found out I was having a son, I wasn't having it done. I understand the cleanliness issues and all that goes with it, but that's a bridge I'm willing to cross.

Q: What is your biggest fear as a mother? Your biggest flaw?

A: I think it's safe to say my biggest fear is missing something. Time cannot be changed, and I would never forgive myself if I didn't cherish every second I have with him, holding on to every single detail my mind can wrap itself around. My biggest flaw when it comes to my parenting ability is not listening to my own feelings about how he should be raised versus what everyone else says. Sometimes I listen instead of trusting my own parental instinct, when it comes to family members and friends - I need to learn to trust myself, I'm a great mother and I know exactly what my little boy needs.

Q: How many babies will you end up having?

A: If financial situations and babies had nothing to do with one another, I'd have 10. They bring such happiness and a sense of purpose. However, as my baby doesn't poop out gold.. I think I'd be comfortable with 2, maybe 3. It's hard to imagine my heart could ever expand to fit more than just Kaiden for now, though.

And that's all, folks!

- Candace

So hard to keep up!

The sun is shining, angels are singing, the clouds part and a voice says "Welcome back, Candace!"

I have absolutely been absent from the blogging world (and actually the virtual world for the most part). Baby Kaiden is growing so fast, I rarely have time for anything anymore.

First, it was the teeth. The first two shot up (bottoms up!), and then the top 4 quickly followed.

This did come along with a whole lot of screaming, late nights, red faces, cold toys and washcloths and my newest best friend Baby Orajel. Now my handsome boy has a mouth full of teeth emerging and is absolutely dying to chomp on some solid[er] food as soon as possible! As soon as I get over my irrational "he might choke" fear. I'm a first time mom, bare with me.

Secondly, he got on the move. Weeks and weeks of laying on his stomach and not making the effort to crawl, but to immediately plant his feet and try to stand was exhausting. I found myself constantly throwing my arms out to catch him before he face-planted and hurt his beautiful little self. Now? Crawl, crawl, crawl to the couch, stand, laugh, crawl back to whomever is showing him attention, crawl, crawl. I honestly experienced many moments where I understood why most mothers complain they only have two arms. Warming a bottle, making formula, trying to change a diaper, clean a baby covered head to toe in food, and watch him crawl away from my grasp.. exhausting.

Talking? Yep, talking. His vocabulary is actually kind of amazing for a nine month old baby, I kid you not. I have proof of pretty much every word multiple times on videos (if you need it!), because he's constantly yammering on. His words now consist of "Mom/Mama" (obv!) "Nan" "Pop" (He's got the basics down, right?) "Elmo" "Car" "Hi!" "Bubbie [Bubble]" "Uncle" "Ah-Mug [Aunt Meg, I think!], and "Ohhhhh!" (When he gets something!). Hilarious!

Lastly, within the last two weeks he's getting pretty good on his feet! He can stand for long periods of time on his own, or with little support. He is constantly dancing in his crib while watching Mickey Mouse Playhouse. He will hold hands and walk (he prefers only holding him with one hand.. he's a brave little soul) until he's mid-pass out, and today he took a few steps (towards Elmo, no less!) all on his own.

Everyone keeps saying he'll be walking, talking, playing, and off to school before I know it - I don't mind if he slows down though.

Next on the list? Planning his first birthday party! I'm already exhausted and it's still 2.5 months away!

M-O-M

Hearing the word "Mom" come out of your child's mouth for the first, fifteenth or one-hundredth time never gets old.

It grasps at your heart strings and pulls in all the right places.

The emotional, the pure happiness and the complete and utter pride.

Keep saying it, baby.

Mommy will never get tired of hearing it.

"Smart wittle baby"

I find most days I watch my son like a hawk watching it's prey, afraid I'm going to miss something.

Anything he does out of the norm, even if it's the first time I notice him play with his ears, or tickle his own toes, I stare at him in awe.

I think being a first-time mother is overwhelming at times, especially when you're as sensitive as a person as I am. I wonder how his body knows exactly what to do, how he learns every day something new and something he has never seen.

With the "absence" (also known as rarely around) father, I assumed the words "da da" wouldn't be uttered out of his mouth for quite some time. Even though I let the "D word" slip when it comes to my significant other who by all standards exceeds the expectations, biological child or not, in the back of my head it just wasn't going to be said too often.

Mama was his first word, yes.. for about a week. Now? DA..DA..DADA..DAAAAAADAAAAA.. constantly! "Mama? Try Mom! Mother? MOOOMMMYY?" "DADDDDDAAAAA!" "Brat.."

My mother has informed me most kids say Da.. anyways because it's the easiest sound to make.

I've accepted it! But nobody can tell me that sweet little child of mine can stare me directly in the eye, smirk and say "DADA" and wait for my reaction (which makes him crack up) without knowing it makes his mother pout.

This morning at 2:00AM he was still awake (as he had a long nap a few hours prior, slap on the hand!) and he was playing with my water bottle. After dropping it on the hardwood floor six to eight times , each greeted with a loud BANG, I shook my head and put his floor mats on the floor underneath him before I returned the bottle to his little chunky fingers. He smiled and tossed it behind him this time, avoiding the floor mats and creating that same loud BANG with a grin on his face. My son loves it when I'm dramatic so I opened my eyes wide and (quietly) yelled "Did you just do that on purpose?!" and he grabbed my hand and laughed.

It's terrifying to me that he's only hitting eight months old in a few weeks.

Sometimes I feel like he's two years old, and other days I feel like he's a month old.

Being a mom is the most heart-wrenching job ever. How do you stop them from growing?

Swingin'

This past weekend was our Canada Day weekend, so we packed up all of our gear (again, packing for a baby takes multiple days and a series of checklists!) and headed up north again. Surrounding Kaiden with the same childhood - whether he can remember it or not - is super important to me, so ideally I'm aiming for taking him up every long weekend.

After many walks around in his little car and stroller, I decided to take him over to the baby swings (9 months for an average size baby, y'all! My little guy is a bit bigger than average!) in the park across the road, and he fell absolutely in love.

I think he noticed the difference of his baby swing and actually swinging in a "big boy swing", because the grin on his face was absolutely, heart achingly beautiful! I couldn't stop laughing at his amusement as we pushed him back and released him, grinning and screaming every time the sun would hit his little face. I fell more in love with my son than I ever thought possible. The older he gets, the more personality he forms, the more I can't imagine him not being the thing that holds me to this earth. I don't know what I ever did without him!

A day in the life..

To commemorate Kaiden turning seven months as of yesterday, I thought we would do what my fellow mommy-bloggers are doing and give you an open window into our (somewhat) daily life and the routine we have implemented.. or rather the one Kaiden makes us go by.

We start off early at 8:00 AM. He still hasn't mastered sleeping throughout the entire night, and still whines (not cries!) for a bottle mid-night, so we are a little lazy for the first couple of minutes getting out of bed. We religiously watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Handy Manny on Disney Junior while we play with a few toys. For a not-even-seven-month-old he has an incredible attention span.

By the time we change diapers, spend time playing with Sophie and our Bug-a-loop and hang out in the crib it's 10:30am! Into the living room to get him some breakfast. Today his breakfast of choice (not his choice yet, unfortunately!) is a Heinz Baby : Farley's Biscuits (original, he hates banana) which he loves because he tries to be so independent already. Anything he can eat on his own if great in his books! His biscuit and a 4oz bottle of formula later and he's ready to go for a nap so Mommy can start her day!

His naps sometimes last thirty minutes and span to sometimes two hours, either way it's the time I get to myself to check emails, browse Facebook, eat breakfast and tend to any other household chores that have to get done. How someone so small accumulates so much laundry, I will never know, and outside for a few minutes to water his plant! Back in, it's 12:00PM and Kaiden is awake.He is such a "meat and potatoes" man as my mother calls it. You can offer him other vegetables, he will taste it begrudgingly. Fruit, he will squinch up his face as soon as the sweetness (or sourness) hits his taste buds. Give my child any potato or meat puree and he'll eat the legs off the table. I'm sure that's not a figure of speech if he could walk. Today we are making organic sweet potatoes in our Magic Bullet (because our As Seen On TV store exchanges magic bullets for baby bullets in a week!)

We eat our lunch together because he definitely tries to mimic me at this point. Mommy eats, Kaiden eats. Mommy eats, Kaiden eats! Then we take a little stroll outside (only because today isn't too unbearable of a hot day) where Kaiden is stopped plenty of times by people claiming he's "so beautiful!".

Back inside, at which point his Nanny is home from her work day and spends time with him until his Poppy also gets home from work and they take him out for yet again, another walk. Time to change him again, he got dirty eating lunch without a bib, whoops! ?Now I have time to finish any laundry, text some friends and start cooking dinner (if it's my night, which tonight happens to be.) Ranch crusted pork chops, Cesar salad and ranch&bacon roasted potatoes.

He's back and now it's reading time. He loves to sit in his Mega Splash Exersaucer or his Baby Einstein Jumperoo and listen to me talk to him, play peek-a-boo, or read him books after books. Sometimes he turns his head like he is retaining the information and staring at my thoughtfully, and I laugh behind the book as to not interrupt his concentration.

We spend a few minutes eating more food (chicken and mixed vegetables) in his highchair, sit down for a quick bottle and rest awhile before it's 9:00PM and it's bath time.

My son loves, loves, loves, loves the bathtub. I'm quite sure if I left him in it all day he would be pleased. He splashes around, laughs, lays back and sucks on a facecloth constantly. He is SUCH a happy baby in the first place, but in the tub he's even more amusing.

And then we are off to bed where we co-sleep (whether with myself or his grandma, depending on who's less tired) and sing him songs of love and good fortune, and he finally rests his little head to lay down at 10:30 - 11:00 PM.