Simple things.

I listen to the same screeching laugh that comes right from the heart, that tears directly into mine and makes my heart want to explode out of my chest.

Every single day.. I listen and smile at his happiness due to my silly faces, or yelling at him to hold my hand (he gets a huge kick out of holding mommy's hands, and he likes when I'm dramatic).

He has turned me into a mother - complete with messy hair and still wearing pajamas.

These simple things I will never let go of, because he's changed me so completely.

I'm nothing else but a mommy..

And happy to be.

Question!

I have had a lot of great feedback on my parenting skills throughout my series of social networks, friends and families. A lot of people on my former blog (Sup, Livejournal-type-people?!), a handful of emails and just a slew of happens-every-day questions have been brought to the table, and I figured I would blog my answers to a few of these questions.

Q: Kaiden is a very unique name - had you thought of any other names before you decided on it?

A: I absolutely fell in love with the name Kaiden from the get-go. I actually heard it on a video game (Mass Effect, y'all!) and never really thought of any other male names, to be honest. Although when I did think I was having a girl I had thrown together "Alexis" "Callie" "Kaylie" and "Makayla". The final one was still in the process, and I guess we never really found out how that one would have turned out!

Q: Thoughts on circumcision?

A: To each their own! This was a large question in parenting classes, and not really a huge topic of conversation in my household. I'm a firm believer in not altering what god gave you - in the sense of adding or taking away things, not like..hair dye - so I knew from the moment I found out I was having a son, I wasn't having it done. I understand the cleanliness issues and all that goes with it, but that's a bridge I'm willing to cross.

Q: What is your biggest fear as a mother? Your biggest flaw?

A: I think it's safe to say my biggest fear is missing something. Time cannot be changed, and I would never forgive myself if I didn't cherish every second I have with him, holding on to every single detail my mind can wrap itself around. My biggest flaw when it comes to my parenting ability is not listening to my own feelings about how he should be raised versus what everyone else says. Sometimes I listen instead of trusting my own parental instinct, when it comes to family members and friends - I need to learn to trust myself, I'm a great mother and I know exactly what my little boy needs.

Q: How many babies will you end up having?

A: If financial situations and babies had nothing to do with one another, I'd have 10. They bring such happiness and a sense of purpose. However, as my baby doesn't poop out gold.. I think I'd be comfortable with 2, maybe 3. It's hard to imagine my heart could ever expand to fit more than just Kaiden for now, though.

And that's all, folks!

- Candace

So hard to keep up!

The sun is shining, angels are singing, the clouds part and a voice says "Welcome back, Candace!"

I have absolutely been absent from the blogging world (and actually the virtual world for the most part). Baby Kaiden is growing so fast, I rarely have time for anything anymore.

First, it was the teeth. The first two shot up (bottoms up!), and then the top 4 quickly followed.

This did come along with a whole lot of screaming, late nights, red faces, cold toys and washcloths and my newest best friend Baby Orajel. Now my handsome boy has a mouth full of teeth emerging and is absolutely dying to chomp on some solid[er] food as soon as possible! As soon as I get over my irrational "he might choke" fear. I'm a first time mom, bare with me.

Secondly, he got on the move. Weeks and weeks of laying on his stomach and not making the effort to crawl, but to immediately plant his feet and try to stand was exhausting. I found myself constantly throwing my arms out to catch him before he face-planted and hurt his beautiful little self. Now? Crawl, crawl, crawl to the couch, stand, laugh, crawl back to whomever is showing him attention, crawl, crawl. I honestly experienced many moments where I understood why most mothers complain they only have two arms. Warming a bottle, making formula, trying to change a diaper, clean a baby covered head to toe in food, and watch him crawl away from my grasp.. exhausting.

Talking? Yep, talking. His vocabulary is actually kind of amazing for a nine month old baby, I kid you not. I have proof of pretty much every word multiple times on videos (if you need it!), because he's constantly yammering on. His words now consist of "Mom/Mama" (obv!) "Nan" "Pop" (He's got the basics down, right?) "Elmo" "Car" "Hi!" "Bubbie [Bubble]" "Uncle" "Ah-Mug [Aunt Meg, I think!], and "Ohhhhh!" (When he gets something!). Hilarious!

Lastly, within the last two weeks he's getting pretty good on his feet! He can stand for long periods of time on his own, or with little support. He is constantly dancing in his crib while watching Mickey Mouse Playhouse. He will hold hands and walk (he prefers only holding him with one hand.. he's a brave little soul) until he's mid-pass out, and today he took a few steps (towards Elmo, no less!) all on his own.

Everyone keeps saying he'll be walking, talking, playing, and off to school before I know it - I don't mind if he slows down though.

Next on the list? Planning his first birthday party! I'm already exhausted and it's still 2.5 months away!