I apologize for the lack of my blogging; yes, being a mother is tough work. Managing a relationship on the side isn't exactly easy. Getting used to assisting in cleaning since I'm home all day isn't a treat - but I am still managing to find a few minutes, coffee in hand, and calm music erupting from my headphones to take a breather.
A few days ago I said goodbye to the cuddly little newborn I've known for the last 2 months and a bit, and hello to my new 'babychild'. I mean this in the sense of everything we once did now irritates or bores him. I can no long let him lay on my chest and fall asleep, we cuddle tummy to tummy because he is as long as my torso.
I cannot hold him close when he's happy and receive a perfect head fitting right into the crevice of my neck, but instead I get my little bronco baby (bucking to get out of there) and screeching until he's sat up on my lap, or on the couch. I smile and say "Oh you're just nosey!" - I am a firm believer that children know more than we think they know - I'm positive he just wants to see the world around him, and is afraid he's missing out on something when asleep or his vision is obscured.
I cannot lie and say I did not shed a few tears when I realized not only did I have to pack away his newborn clothing, most of his 0-3 clothing and even some of his 3 month sleepers. I stared in utter shock at the baby in front of me and at the sleeper dangling in my hand. "Why?" I sobbed to myself. I held the legs up to his body, and frowned when I saw they would not reach toe to crotch.
Then again later in the day, I was giving him his tummy time and as he was cooing at the glowworm in front of him, I rubbed his back like I always do. This time I noticed the number 2 staring up at me, grasped in Tigger's paws, no less. Size 2, really? It's like this didn't hit me when it was happening and all I could sit and think was how did this happen so quickly?
I can post and post about how fast he's growing, and one day instead of a baby book, I will be reading him this blog. This is all about you, after all, my darling little boy. "You grew so quickly, and you made mommy cry!" - I can guilt trip him in the future. A baby book has very little information. This blog is a splillage of your life, how you became you, and we became us.
The fact is I have a healthy, absolutely breathtaking little angel. One who's coos, smiles and breathing is imprinted deeply into my being. I see his face in every part of my life, even when we're apart for fraction of time. I can truthfully say I have dreamed of a lot of wonderous jobs, and until I had him, being a mother wasn't really a high priority on the list. Now? Number one. I love you, Kaids.
