"Smart wittle baby"

I find most days I watch my son like a hawk watching it's prey, afraid I'm going to miss something.

Anything he does out of the norm, even if it's the first time I notice him play with his ears, or tickle his own toes, I stare at him in awe.

I think being a first-time mother is overwhelming at times, especially when you're as sensitive as a person as I am. I wonder how his body knows exactly what to do, how he learns every day something new and something he has never seen.

With the "absence" (also known as rarely around) father, I assumed the words "da da" wouldn't be uttered out of his mouth for quite some time. Even though I let the "D word" slip when it comes to my significant other who by all standards exceeds the expectations, biological child or not, in the back of my head it just wasn't going to be said too often.

Mama was his first word, yes.. for about a week. Now? DA..DA..DADA..DAAAAAADAAAAA.. constantly! "Mama? Try Mom! Mother? MOOOMMMYY?" "DADDDDDAAAAA!" "Brat.."

My mother has informed me most kids say Da.. anyways because it's the easiest sound to make.

I've accepted it! But nobody can tell me that sweet little child of mine can stare me directly in the eye, smirk and say "DADA" and wait for my reaction (which makes him crack up) without knowing it makes his mother pout.

This morning at 2:00AM he was still awake (as he had a long nap a few hours prior, slap on the hand!) and he was playing with my water bottle. After dropping it on the hardwood floor six to eight times , each greeted with a loud BANG, I shook my head and put his floor mats on the floor underneath him before I returned the bottle to his little chunky fingers. He smiled and tossed it behind him this time, avoiding the floor mats and creating that same loud BANG with a grin on his face. My son loves it when I'm dramatic so I opened my eyes wide and (quietly) yelled "Did you just do that on purpose?!" and he grabbed my hand and laughed.

It's terrifying to me that he's only hitting eight months old in a few weeks.

Sometimes I feel like he's two years old, and other days I feel like he's a month old.

Being a mom is the most heart-wrenching job ever. How do you stop them from growing?

Bye Newbie, Hello Bronco.

I apologize for the lack of my blogging; yes, being a mother is tough work. Managing a relationship on the side isn't exactly easy. Getting used to assisting in cleaning since I'm home all day isn't a treat - but I am still managing to find a few minutes, coffee in hand, and calm music erupting from my headphones to take a breather.

A few days ago I said goodbye to the cuddly little newborn I've known for the last 2 months and a bit, and hello to my new 'babychild'. I mean this in the sense of everything we once did now irritates or bores him. I can no long let him lay on my chest and fall asleep, we cuddle tummy to tummy because he is as long as my torso.
I cannot hold him close when he's happy and receive a perfect head fitting right into the crevice of my neck, but instead I get my little bronco baby (bucking to get out of there) and screeching until he's sat up on my lap, or on the couch. I smile and say "Oh you're just nosey!" - I am a firm believer that children know more than we think they know - I'm positive he just wants to see the world around him, and is afraid he's missing out on something when asleep or his vision is obscured.

I cannot lie and say I did not shed a few tears when I realized not only did I have to pack away his newborn clothing, most of his 0-3 clothing and even some of his 3 month sleepers. I stared in utter shock at the baby in front of me and at the sleeper dangling in my hand. "Why?" I sobbed to myself. I held the legs up to his body, and frowned when I saw they would not reach toe to crotch.

Then again later in the day, I was giving him his tummy time and as he was cooing at the glowworm in front of him, I rubbed his back like I always do. This time I noticed the number 2 staring up at me, grasped in Tigger's paws, no less. Size 2, really? It's like this didn't hit me when it was happening and all I could sit and think was how did this happen so quickly?

I can post and post about how fast he's growing, and one day instead of a baby book, I will be reading him this blog. This is all about you, after all, my darling little boy. "You grew so quickly, and you made mommy cry!" - I can guilt trip him in the future. A baby book has very little information. This blog is a splillage of your life, how you became you, and we became us.

The fact is I have a healthy, absolutely breathtaking little angel. One who's coos, smiles and breathing is imprinted deeply into my being. I see his face in every part of my life, even when we're apart for fraction of time. I can truthfully say I have dreamed of a lot of wonderous jobs, and until I had him, being a mother wasn't really a high priority on the list. Now? Number one. I love you, Kaids.