"Smart wittle baby"

I find most days I watch my son like a hawk watching it's prey, afraid I'm going to miss something.

Anything he does out of the norm, even if it's the first time I notice him play with his ears, or tickle his own toes, I stare at him in awe.

I think being a first-time mother is overwhelming at times, especially when you're as sensitive as a person as I am. I wonder how his body knows exactly what to do, how he learns every day something new and something he has never seen.

With the "absence" (also known as rarely around) father, I assumed the words "da da" wouldn't be uttered out of his mouth for quite some time. Even though I let the "D word" slip when it comes to my significant other who by all standards exceeds the expectations, biological child or not, in the back of my head it just wasn't going to be said too often.

Mama was his first word, yes.. for about a week. Now? DA..DA..DADA..DAAAAAADAAAAA.. constantly! "Mama? Try Mom! Mother? MOOOMMMYY?" "DADDDDDAAAAA!" "Brat.."

My mother has informed me most kids say Da.. anyways because it's the easiest sound to make.

I've accepted it! But nobody can tell me that sweet little child of mine can stare me directly in the eye, smirk and say "DADA" and wait for my reaction (which makes him crack up) without knowing it makes his mother pout.

This morning at 2:00AM he was still awake (as he had a long nap a few hours prior, slap on the hand!) and he was playing with my water bottle. After dropping it on the hardwood floor six to eight times , each greeted with a loud BANG, I shook my head and put his floor mats on the floor underneath him before I returned the bottle to his little chunky fingers. He smiled and tossed it behind him this time, avoiding the floor mats and creating that same loud BANG with a grin on his face. My son loves it when I'm dramatic so I opened my eyes wide and (quietly) yelled "Did you just do that on purpose?!" and he grabbed my hand and laughed.

It's terrifying to me that he's only hitting eight months old in a few weeks.

Sometimes I feel like he's two years old, and other days I feel like he's a month old.

Being a mom is the most heart-wrenching job ever. How do you stop them from growing?

Holy Colic.

I'm welcoming myself back to the blogging world - I've been absent, such a shame. Since my "hiatus", there was a roller coaster of emotions, 14 hours of labour (an absolute treat!), and over 50 hours in the hospital..resulting in the most precious, wonderful, and gorgeous baby boy I could ever have asked for.

I am slowly healing, thanks to having small lady parts and a child with a big head, I actually had to have an episiotomy. Under the impression that it would get him here a bit faster, and I was so selfish and wanted him in my arms. I'm sure I screamed "Can you just do it?!" at least five times at my (then) incompetent nurse. Before or after insisting I was done pushing, and in fact would be happier with a c-section, I don't recall. "Being a mother is tough work" used to always seem like the most repeated babble of nonsense that people used to make themselves feel better .. until I was left alone in a hospital room, baby beside me, and a button tossed into my hand - "push this if you need anything".
Excuse me, what? You expect me to jump in and out of bed to change diapers and feed a baby, while fifteen minutes ago I was pushing it out and getting stitched up? Really? Really.

I made it through that night. And I've made it through the following two. But nothing could have ever prepared me for a baby with colic.Unmeasurable volume of screeching, inconsolable crying and little-to-no sleep.
I'm confident in saying the worst feeling ever is to feel like a defeated parent. Listening to him cry, even when he just wants something to eat, severely breaks my heart - but at least in that aspect I can give him what he wants. I can talk to him, and kiss him, and let him know everything is going to be okay.. whether he can understand me or not, I feel better.

The result? I ended up having to spend more money on bottles, designated for a sensitive tummy and switch to lactose-free formula. Yep, like me, my child is allergic to milk. The combination instantly solved the problem - and I don't think I've ever been so pleased and excited to see human feces in my life. I clapped, I cheered, I kissed, I cried.. I even called my brother, sister-in-law and best friend to inform them of this great accomplishment in my child's life.

And now he needs a nap, so off I go to slumber for roughly two hours before my bundle of joy becomes a holy terror and starts screaming because he wants to lay in my bed। Yes, he's that spoiled already.